


What Was Said

by ThisShallNeverBeMentioned



Series: Trusting Things Beyond Mistake [2]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-17
Updated: 2014-01-17
Packaged: 2018-01-09 02:23:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1140323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThisShallNeverBeMentioned/pseuds/ThisShallNeverBeMentioned
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A sibling-fic to I Can Tell You aka the parts you didn’t see aka Michael may have noticed something going on between Ray and Joel but that was only the tip of the iceberg.</p><p>This is what went on beneath the waves.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

 

///

 

Ray was not a fan of early mornings.

It’s not like he couldn’t wake up early if he  _really_  wanted to, but there was a very short list of reasons for him to actually feel the need to give up a Saturday morning for anything but sleep.

A four-plus hour road trip was not on that list.

That’s not to say he didn’t want to go, seeing how at the end of the road trip was a long weekend of barbeques and fun with the Roosterteeth office. But, being car-less, he didn’t have a lot of choice when it came to catching a lift. Most of the employees who were driving at a reasonable time of the day didn’t have space for passengers, which left Ray with one option: spend the morning in a car with Joel Heyman.

He could live with it.

 

///

 

When Ray wanted to wake up at a reasonable time, he set an alarm. When he had to wake up at a specific time, he set two. When Ray had to wake up at five-thirty in order to have breakfast and be ready to go when Joel came by at six, he set an alarm on his clock, his phone, his computer, and the radio in the kitchen – all set to go off thirty seconds after each other.

He half-slept through the first two, so it wasn’t until his computer started belting out  _Hit Me Baby One More Time_  and the radio clicked onto some morning news program that the cacophony of noise was enough to make him roll out of bed and shut them all up. He ended up in the kitchen, slumped against the counter, glasses askew and cursing his past self for being so damn prepared.

A pot of coffee and a bowl of cereal later, he stumbled into the shower. Five minutes after that, he pulled on a T-shirt and some shorts, and was trying to locate his shoes when there was a knock on his apartment door.

Ray paused in front of it, waited for another knock, and then tapped back something like fake Morse code. He heard a soft laugh from outside and opened the door to shoot a grin at the sleepy looking man before him.

“Hey Joel.”

“Ray.” Joel nodded, hovering at the door until Ray nodded his head to indicate he should come in.

“I’ve just gotta find my shoes and grab my bags and I’m good to go.” Ray told him, wandering back to his room. He waved a hand at the kitchen. “There’s coffee if you want any, but it’s probably gone cold by now.”

“I thought you weren’t a morning person?” Joel called after him. Ray grabbed his overnight bag and pocketed his phone, still looking around for his shoes when he came out again. “How come you’re so…”

Ray raised an eyebrow. “So what?”

Joel seemed to struggle with an answer, eyebrows pulled down at the centre as he squinted at Ray. Finally, in a tone entirely too serious, he said, “Ebullient.”

Ray just stared at him for a moment, caught between wanting to laugh and wanting to smack his hand into his forehead. He did neither, just shook his head. “Alright.”

“It means cheerful and full of energy.”

“Who on earth bothers to learn words like that?” Ray asked, locating his shoes under the couch and sitting down to pull them on.

“Expanding your vocabulary isn’t something to sneer at.”

Ray chuckled at that, looking up to meet Joel’s poker face. “C’mon man, you’re making me feel like I’m back at school.”

Joel frowned. “Just grab your shit. We’ve got to get on the road or we won’t get there in time for lunch.”

“Yeah, about that,” Ray began, flicking off the lights. The sky outside was just starting to turn a lighter shade of blue, enough for Ray to see by as he swung his bad over his shoulder and let Joel herd him out the door. “Why are you so intent on leaving early?”

Joel gave him a look that, coupled with his height already, did nothing to make Ray feel less like he was back in high school. “Less traffic. Makes it safer to travel long distances.” He held open the door for Ray as they exited the building, and made a beeline for his car.

Ray threw his bag into the backseat, and buckled up, adjusting the seat to lean back a bit. Joel’s car was pretty fancy, and very comfy, and he briefly entertained the idea of just napping the whole way there.

Until Joel turned on the radio.

Not even to a music station, to goddamn politics. Ray stared incredulously as Joel started the car, nodding along to some old posh voiced guy rattled on about the economy or something. He wasn’t even sure, it turned into white noise as soon as it reached his ears, and though Ray was fairly good at falling asleep to pretty much anything, the droning was impossible. Maybe if he could actually follow what was being said he could deal, but all it did was leave him in a state of boredom.

He lasted about ten minutes, enough for Joel to get onto the freeway, before he reached over and abruptly switched the radio off. Joel let out an indignant noise, and when he reached for the radio again, Ray grinned and switched it off before the boring posh guy could get a word out.

“You could talk to me if you need something to do while driving but I swear, I will throw myself out of this car before I listen to politics. I can feel myself getting older by the second.” He joked, pulling his hands down the sides of his face.

Joel tch-ed, but Ray could see the small smile on his face as he glanced over.

“Fine. What do you want to talk about?”

 

///

 

Ray soon learned that without a distraction – namely the droning voice of a stuffy politician – Joel drove like a formula one racer. On speed.

At first, he barely noticed, because Joel’s car suspension was so smooth that it felt like they were just cruising along the highway, but when he glanced at the dash and saw the speedometer pushing up past ninety, he suddenly tensed.

“Uh… Joel?” Now that he was looking, the trees and power poles that they passed seemed to blur, and he noticed how they were pulling past every single car on the road. “Pretty sure the speed limit is seventy-five along here.”

He was not expecting the small manic gleam in Joel’s eye when he glanced sideways at Ray.

“And?”

The speedometer climbed again. Ray couldn’t help gripping the seat, eyes wide as he watched yet another car fall behind them.

“There aren’t any speed cameras or cops out here for another hundred or so miles.” Okay, the bastard was definitely smirking now. “Gotta make good time.”

“You’re winding me up, aren’t you?” Ray accused. He was carefully keeping his gaze from outside the car – everything whizzing by way too fast – and from drifting back to the dashboard. He didn’t want to see how fast they were going now; he was already having a silent freak-out. “Joel, seriously, feel free to crash on your own time, but I’d actually like to see my twenty-fifth birthday.”

Joel looked appropriately chagrined and shifted his foot, letting the needle drift back down to seventy-five.

Ray let out a breath, loosening his grip on the seat and opened his mouth to say thanks, but instead all that came out was an embarrassingly high pitched squeak as the car shot forward again. He clapped his hands over his mouth, thrown back against the seat as the speedometer needle shot up past one hundred so quickly that the car roared with the sudden speed, and he clenched his eyes shut.  _Holy shit holy shit holy shit_ -

The sound of Joel laughing his ass off made him force his eyes open again, throwing a glare at him. The car was back to doing eighty, the revs of the engine almost imperceptible; Ray unclamped his hands from his mouth.

“Not cool.” He managed to spit out, more than a little pissed off and fighting the strong urge to give Joel the cold shoulder, however childish that might have been.

Joel was still laughing, wheezing slightly, but thankfully he kept his eyes on the road, one hand on the steering wheel while the other rubbed at his face, stretched wide in a grin.

“You-“ he spoke between chuckles, smiling with every word. “Are the-  _cutest thing_ \- when you’re flustered.”

Ray wasn’t expecting that, and it was enough to surprise him out of his frown. He quickly turned his face to the window to hide his own grin.

“That’s why I tend not to get flustered,” he bantered easily, falling back on his routine. “Don’t think the world would be able to survive if I unleashed my high level of cuteness.”

Joel was still letting out little snorts of laughter now and then, but he seemed to have calmed down. “Don’t know if  _I’d_  survive.” He murmured.

The remainder of the drive was less eventful; the car would creep a few miles above the speed limit, but with the way they were bantering now, Joel was finally distracted from the oncoming doom of the economy, and from trying to give Ray a heart attack. They turned off the freeway, and the road got narrower, more paddocks and trees appearing.

The sun was climbing towards the centre of the sky when they finally hit a dirt and gravel road, and after a quick glance at Ray, Joel slowed down enough so they weren’t bouncing in their seats. Ray let a wide smile cross his face, tilting his head towards Joel, who shrugged a shoulder in return but looked pleased.

This was going to be a good weekend.

 

///

 

Swords. Goddamn shiny swords.

“Dude.” Ray stared, instantly going to Joel’s side, barely aware of the smirk on his face as he held out a hand to take one of the swords. It was heavy, but the weight felt good in his hands, and when he swung it there was a satisfying whoosh sound that followed. There was a simple pattern carved into the metal around the hilt, and he wondered for a second if they were movie replicas.

A movement made him look up in time to see Joel swinging the other sword through the air, one handed, and it looked so damn easy, like something out of Final Fantasy. He was surprised there wasn’t a line of sparkles following the tip of the metal. Joel locked his eyes onto Ray’s, and the sword was reaching towards his own, metal scraping against metal.

“Where’d you get swords?” Gavin asked jolting Ray out of the eye contact and Joel lowered his sword to answer.

“A friend of mine makes custom swords, mainly for stage productions. He gave me a discount, but they still cost a couple hundred.” Joel was gazing at the sword in his hand fondly, and it almost made Ray want to laugh.

“That’s pretty cool.” Michael was saying from beside him, checking out the sword in his hand and Ray grinned and handed it over.

“Cool? It’s amazing!” He reached over to grab Joel’s sword – Joel flashed him a small smile – and Ray turned to Michael, flourishing the sword with a challenge. “En guarde!”

He and Michael played about with the swords, and Ray tried to mimic the movements he’d seen in games, but it was so different balancing the weight, and the reflex movements weren’t so easy on his shoulders. He had to keep grabbing the hilt with his spare hand, and after a minute Joel took the other sword back from Michael.

“You’ve got to keep your wrist loose,” He said, walking closer. “Hold it up with your arm, not your hand, and try not to put too much of your shoulder into it.”

Ray was about to tell him that he was lecturing again, but suddenly Joel was  _very_  close, leaning over him, his spare hand over Ray’s wrist and talking quietly.

“Move your legs further apart.”

He got an urge to laugh, but even he had his limits of immaturity, and it was clear that Joel was oblivious to this particular double entendre. Plus, he was happy to get a free lesson in sword fighting. So Ray shuffled his feet a little, and Joel nodded, then made him hold his sword up in front of him. He kept his hand over Ray’s, moving it into the different blocking positions. It felt a bit jerky, and overly complicated.

“Why can’t I just hold my sword up in front of me and block?” He asked, raising an eyebrow.

“If you don’t block a blow properly you can jar your shoulder, or your opponents sword might slide and cut your hand.” Joel stepped in front of him, and made him run through the moves again, but this time he moved his own sword to cross Ray’s, and suddenly the positions made a bit more sense. “You’ve got to put more weight into it, and keep your knees bent.”

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but there ain’t much of me to ‘put into it’.”

Joel’s eyes flicked over him once, and his lips twitched.

“Then your reflexes should be quicker.”

They upped the pace, or rather, Joel began moving quicker, calling out the blocking positions. The ringing sound the swords made when they hit echoed, and hey, it actually was easier without his knees locked.

He wouldn’t admit it but there was something really dangerous about the way Joel held the sword. It was the first time Joel looked really at home with himself, and if this were a video game, Joel would be the top boss to beat, or maybe the hero, with the way he held himself…

Ray shook himself back to reality when Joel’s sword came whizzing at him, and he hastily held up his own in a block, belatedly realising he was holding it the wrong way, and it was sliding towards Joel’s fingers. Luckily, the other man had excellent reflexes, and he shifted the blade away quickly. Ray let out a small laugh, apologetic, but Joel just gestured at him to take up his starting position again.

He picked it up fairly quickly – he had a good memory for combinations, though it was usually just finger movements, not his whole body – and he managed to keep up with Joel’s footwork, going beyond the simple repetition he had taught him, until Ray was actually responding to unscripted moves.

He held his own for a while, though he was sure Joel was going easy on him, and when he began puffing a bit Joel backed off, and swung his sword across Ray’s side with a final flourish. Ray blocked, turning into it, and he was suddenly back-to-back with Joel, who had stilled and held his sword loosely against Ray’s.

There was the sound of clapping, and a couple of congratulations called out, but Ray was a bit too distracted by the proximity to acknowledge them.

He could feel the warmth practically rolling off Joel as they stood, leaning against each other, and the small movement of his breathing. And it was… surprisingly reassuring. Something about the solid form at his back, the way his head fit right between Joel’s shoulder blades was comforting. Usually when Joel towered over him, it felt a little condescending, and he knew Joel milked it, teased him about being a kid just as much as he teased Joel for being old. But now, as Ray caught his breath but still found his heart beating a little too fast, found himself a little too focused on the contact - and the fact that from what he could tell Joel had a  _very_  firm ass - Ray knew there was nothing condescending about this position.

People were coming up for a turn with the swords, and as he handed over his to Barbara, and the warmth at his back moved away, Ray found himself looking at Joel a bit more carefully.

Messy hair. Not as much puff as Gavin’s, but everyone just assumed Gavin had some weird British anti-gravity deal going on, so it wasn’t fair to compare. Small beard on his chin, not just a lack of shaving, but not a full on effort like Geoff and Jack and Burnie tended to go for. Friendly crooked smile and large eyes that he’d scrunch up when he was thinking too much about something. He was tall, and built, but his frame was lithe. Joel put off an air that was half overprotective big brother and half stoned musician. When he actually bothered to dress in clothes that fit, or in suits during RT shorts he had that undercover action man disguised as an accountant look to him, though that could simply be because he was an actor. Beneficial to be able pull off different characters.

Then there were times like the drive over when Joel had switched between a guy who found listening to updates about the economy interesting, and a speed demon that took too much pleasure from tormenting Ray.

It was pretty hard to pin down what Joel was really like; he altered himself too much, put up too many fronts.

So why was Ray trying so hard to figure him out?

Ray came back down to Earth in time to watch Michael and Gavin mid-fight, and he chuckled when Gavin got the upper hand last minute, leaving Michael looking a bit shell-shocked. He gave out a whoop, and they broke away from each other. Joel went up to retrieve his swords, and when he turned back, he shot a smile at Ray.

 “I’m gonna put them away or I’ll never get anything to eat at this rate.” He said as he wandered past. “I’m starved.”

“I’ll grab a plate for you if you want.” Ray found himself offering. Joel looked surprised, and then a broad grin crossed his face as he nodded, and rustled a hand through Ray’s hair as he passed.

Ray quickly grabbed a plastic plate and got himself in front of Burnie’s food station, but glanced towards the tall figure walking up to one of the cabins, shiny metal of swords in hand.

And yep, definitely a good ass.

 

///

 


	2. Chapter 2

 

\\\\\

 

Joel had helped Burnie deplete his personal mini-cooler supply, lost count of the whiskey shots he’d done with Geoff, and finally fought Gus for half of the remaining beers. Without anywhere to put them, and in legitimate concern for his supply, Joel had found himself propped up against a tree on the edge of the forest. The seat of his jeans was cold and getting damp from the dew, but he had his beer and quiet surroundings to aid him as he wallowed in his thoughts and guilty mind.

He had a crush.

He wanted to do inappropriate things to, and with, Ray Narvaez Jr.

After he admitted it to himself, he spent a few minutes and a whole bottle trying to pinpoint when it started. It couldn’t have just been this weekend; it was the first time the thought had worked it’s way to the front of his mind, the first time he admitted that his admiring of the younger man was more than just friendly interest, but it couldn’t have been the beginning.

Since Michael had brought him to Roosterteeth, before he was even employed there, Ray had been a point of interest for Joel. People intrigued him; he was always on the lookout for new mannerisms to observe and mimic and bring into the various characters he played, to make his acting more original and believable than just working off script descriptions or other actors.

And Ray, with his sharp wit and laid back attitude, his readiness to jump into a joke and his impressive talent at a multitude of games, was a perfect choice to observe.

Though he didn’t really  _interact_  with Ray much, not even when he became a regular Achievement Hunter, Joel did pay attention to him. He paid attention to his little mannerisms when he was quiet, to the way he stood around different people, to the change in his voice when he spoke to his friends when they were drunk as opposed to sober.

When that transitioned into paying attention to Ray as more than just another co-worker and friend, Joel still wasn’t sure.

The surge of guilt when he’d realised he was lingering a bit too long when he thanked Ray for saving him a plate of food that evening had been the changing point. He’d made some excuse and, like a perfect coward, managed to avoid him for the remainder of the evening, giving himself space to think.

After a bit of time, he’d decided that yes, it was more than just general admiration, and no, he probably wouldn’t get over it that easily.

But the fact remained that he  _would_  have to get over it. Ray was so much younger than Joel, way less uptight, and most importantly, probably not even interested.

That didn’t mean Joel had to stop thinking about Ray altogether, just that he would have to be more careful of his actions, and maybe spend less time around him. A smaller part of his mind rebelled against that decision, but the larger part told him it was for the best.

So he’d retreated, shushed his mind with alcohol, and was staring up at the leaves and branches above his head, mind wandering – remembering the closeness when they’d been sword fighting, fitting his hand over Ray’s to guide his movements, how Ray had leant in to him - when he heard footsteps. Fairly quiet, but definitely footsteps crunching on the leaves, and then a small stumble and a low curse in a voice that he knew too well.

“Ray?” he called before he could stop himself.

“Joel?” Sure enough, Ray walked into view around the side of the tree, quirked eyebrow as he looked down. He was still in his shorts and T-shirt from earlier and Joel couldn’t help glancing down, taking in his appearance in the dim light. “What are you doing?”

Joel shook himself, trying to get his mind focused again; he hadn’t realised how much he’d slipped into subconsciousness before, it felt like he’d just woken up. It was taking too long for his brain to process what was said to him and how he should respond. He gestured lazily to the trees, bottle still gripped in hand. “Just… enjoying nature, y’know?” Even his voice sounded a little strained to his own ears, grating in a way that came from too many drinks.

Dark brown eyes furrowed and flicked to the collection of bottles at Joel’s side, and he felt a stab of guilt as he realised how slurred his words were. He wasn’t really making a good impression. Even though he knew Ray didn’t really care that most of his co-workers drank like booze hounds, he didn’t want the kid to have to deal with him like this. Especially after his mind had been in such dangerous waters. He waved his hand again, in a shoo-ing motion.

“Don’tcha gotta get back to the party?” he murmured, leaning back against his tree. It wasn’t really that comfortable anymore.

Ray let out a small laugh. “It’s like three AM.” He said, and a smile crossed his face. “Pretty sure the party’s over for tonight.”

Joel nodded slowly, letting his gaze drift to the distant light of the fire across the lawn. There were a few silhouettes moving about, but way less than there had been a good few hours ago. “Should prob’ly go to bed then.”

His eyelids drooped at the thought; sleep hadn’t been at the forefront of his mind, but now that it was brought up he realised just how tired he was, and bed seemed like the best idea in the world. But then he remembered that that would require standing up, and Joel wasn’t sure that his body would cooperate. His legs had gone to sleep as it was. He looked around him, trying to count the bottles, but he was seeing double, so instead he looked up at Ray, who was biting his lip. An errant thought made Joel wonder what Ray’s lips felt like… and he shook his head viciously. No, bad thought, bad idea.

“Joel? You okay?”

No, he was certainly not okay. He was trying not to think about kissing his co-worker. His co-worker who was charming and funny and half his age and currently bending down to crouch in front of him and wow did his lips look kissable-  _No. Bad Joel_.

“You need a hand?”

A hand? Handjob? Joel shook his head again, but that just made his vision spin and staying upright seemed unlikely, even while sitting, and he slid sideways before a pair of hands caught him by the shoulders.

“Woah, okay, you definitely need to go to bed. Can you, uh, put your arm over my shoulders?”

It seemed a simple enough task, so Joel slung his arm around the younger man’s shoulders, aware of the difference in size but the distinct shape of Ray’s frame that was anything but feminine. He was also very warm.

Joel jumped when Ray’s hand found his waist, pulling him into his side and upwards. He managed to get his feet planted on the ground, and tried not to put too much of his weight on Ray, but still found himself leaning into the body heat, and the smell of sun in his hair.

Ray shifted, hoisting Joel’s arm a bit more securely around his shoulders, and tightening his grip on his waist before he tugged him forward, and Joel had to focus on making his feet move. His vision was so wobbly that it was easier for him to just close his eyes, listen to Ray’s breath and the crunch of leaves and grass under their feet.

“Michael!” Ray called, and soon he was stopping, and Joel kept his eyes closed, listening as the New Jersey voice joined the sounds. His other arm was picked up and then he was slung between two bodies, the second taller and broader than Ray, and they were moving again.

Joel was zoning out when all his weight was put back onto one side, and Ray was talking to him. He tried to focus on the words, eyes blinking open to take in Ray’s face, watching his mouth forming words.

“Where’s your key? For your room.”

Key… He wracked his brains, and mumbled a response that seemed to be the right thing, hoping he could go back to enjoying the warmth that was Ray and the blissful mindlessness of being completely drunk and on the verge of sleep. He heard the key turn in the lock and the door swing open, a couple more steps and he was sitting on a soft mattress.

But then Ray was pulling away.

So he grabbed at the air and managed to catch a hold of Ray’s wrist. A hand pushed at his shoulder and the world tilted, but he kept his hand around Ray’s wrist, unwilling against the fingers trying to pry him away.

“Joel, man, let go.”

 _No, no, Ray, stay_ … he wasn’t sure if he said the words out loud, but the fact that the fingers trying to prise him away stilled made him try to keep focus.

“I’ll be back in a minute, I’m just going to get you some water.”

Back… he’ll be back. Joel nodded, let his hand drop, and heard footsteps cross to the door. There was a murmuring, and Joel strained to listen, but his head was spinning again. Yet, though he was infinitely more comfortable flung out across the mattress, he felt wound up and on edge, unable to drift off into the blissful blackness at the edge of his mind, and for some reason he was positive that it was because Ray wasn’t next to him anymore.

Joel let out a groan. He had it bad.

 

\\\\\

///

 

As soon as Ray shut the door, Joel groaned from behind him. He looked completely ridiculous, sprawled out across the bed, all long limbs and scrunched up clothes, half his face pressed into the pillow. When he spotted Ray, he reached out a hand, making grabby movements with his fingers.

Ray rolled his eyes and kicked his shoes off beside the door, padding over to Joel’s bed. He hesitated for a second before perching awkwardly on the spare edge of the mattress. Joel’s arm flopped down over his knee and Ray pushed the glass of water towards his hand.

“Here.” He prompted, but when Joel’s eyes focused on the glass he groaned and turned his face into the pillow.

 “Joel,” Ray said more insistently. “You gotta drink something. You’ll feel better?”

Joel just shook his head, face still hidden in the pillow. Ray let out a puff of breath; he was dealing with a goddamn toddler.

“Look, you either drink this water or I’ll pour it on you.”

There was a small pause, and then Joel pushed himself up, resting his weight on one arm, eyes glaring blearily at Ray. He lifted the glass, eyebrows raised threateningly, and Joel grunted in defeat, reaching out to take the glass and drink. He got a couple of gulps down, a small amount trickling out of the side of his mouth, and handed the glass back to Ray, wiping his arm across his mouth and collapsing back on the bed.

Ray patted his shoulder. “Good choice.” He stood, placing the glass on the sideboard, and after a pause, his glasses as well. The world blurred into shapes, and he flicked off the light switch before making his way to one of the spare beds. He was under the covers and had his eyes closed when Joel’s voice came across the small space quietly.

“Ray?”

He hummed, opening his eyes once more to look over. Joel had made a bit more of an effort to fit himself onto his bed, but was still lying on top of the covers, despite the fact that he was curled up in a way that clearly showed he was cold.

Joel shifted, from what Ray could tell without his glasses, tilting his head as he looked at Ray.

“No glasses…”

Ray let out a soft chuckle at the confusion lacing Joel’s words. “Yeah, I don’t wear them to bed, y’know.”

“Why?”

He shrugged, turning on his side to talk to Joel easier. “So I don’t roll on my face and break ‘em when I’m sleeping.”

That looked like a frown. The fact that he seemed to be wide awake now he that he was in a position to sleep was a bit strange, but if he felt like talking now, hey, Ray was okay with that.

“You’re not sleeping now, though.”

Even if it was like talking to a kid.

“Good observation there, Joel.” Ray closed his eyes again. They tended to start hurting when he left his glasses off too long, trying futilely to focus on his surroundings.

“Ray?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you-” he broke off, his voice changing from soft to rambling in an instant. “Do you think that Wall Street will fabricate a decreased value of gold to stop people investing in it?”

Ray sighed heavily, running his hand over his face. “Joel…”

“Or do you think they’ll sell off all of the mining shares first and  _then_  advertise the decreased value of gold and sell out all the smaller businesses and then-”

“ _Joel._ ”

The older man finally shut his trap, turning his head towards Ray, who took a breath and continued in a low voice. “Go to sleep, man, seriously.”

There was a pause, where the two of them were still, before Joel lurched out of his bed so abruptly that Ray started, and Joel crouched over beside Ray’s pillow, hands on the edge of the mattress.

Ray wished he could see Joel’s expression properly, but the darkness and his shitful eyesight made that impossible. Still, he couldn’t help blinking and trying to focus on the man’s face.

“Ray?”

“What, Joel?”

Nothing. From what he could make out Joel had his eyes scrunched up in that confused-thoughtful combo expression, but he didn’t say anything. Ray let out a breath and prepared himself to wrestle him back to his bed-

Joel leant up and pressed his lips to Ray’s forehead lightly, lingering a moment, and mumbling, “Thank you.” against his skin. He pushed himself upright again, stumbled the two steps back to his bed and collapsed onto it, face down on the pillow.

Ray stared after him for a minute, but Joel started snoring, long limbs trailing over the mattress, and Ray blinked again, not to try and focus his eyes, but his suddenly whirling mind.

His skin burned, and as he replayed the moment again in his head, curious and a little bemused, he could feel his heartbeat speed, and a small smile form on his face.

_Well._

_That happened._

 

///

 


	3. Chapter 3

 

///

 

It’s past midday, the sun shooting in rays – ha – through the branches and leaves overhead, the temperature differing by several degrees as they walked in and out of shade. It’s not far from the lake to the campsite, an easy walk, as they dry off and just take in the heat and the cool fresh air that spins around them.

Michael and Gavin are rambling on together, at the back of the group while Geoff, Griffon and Millie lead the way through the forest path, and Ray rolls his eyes to himself as their voices drift forward. Individually, they can each be loud and boisterous, but together, they’re a cacophony.

Beside him, Joel takes long slow steps, keeping pace with Ray, gazing idly around at the trees and ferns, sunglasses pushed up onto the top of his head.

“…and syrup on top. I’d trade you for that.” Gavin says cheekily, and Ray can just imagine the dumb grin on his face without looking.

Michael obviously gets the full front of it as he replies, voice dry and heavy with sarcasm. “Gee, thanks.”

Ray can’t help himself, so he takes the opening and stirs them up, calling over his shoulder. “What about  _Michael_  with syrup on top, Gavin?”

“What about  _Joel_  with cake frosting on top, Ray?” Gavin shoots back double quick, and he hears Michael laughing softly under his breath.

Joel’s trying not to look at them, but his shoulders have gone tense and he’s staring straight ahead as they walk, and Ray makes a big show of looking him over, knowing he can see out of the corner of his eye.

“I’d risk it.” Ray shrugs, eyes still focused on Joel, ready for the reaction he knows is coming. “Doesn’t exactly count as cake does it.”

Sure enough, a second later Joel’s eyes are wide and frantic, whipping his head to the side, and he splutters with indignation at the smirk on Ray’s face. “ _Ray_ -”

There’s an endearing flush in his cheeks and Ray silently revels in the rare sight, smiling as Joel starts muttering about definitions and appropriate activities, following the way his mouth twists to one side and his eyes dart about. He’s avoiding eye contact, rubbing at his stubble-beard with one hand and occasionally at the back of his neck. His hair is still slightly damp, and a bead of lake water drips from his forehead and runs down to his neck, and Ray finds himself watching it’s descent and the way Joel’s throat moves when he swallows. He can’t help the obscene grin he’s got on his face, and looks up to meet Joel’s eyes just as the colour in his cheeks is fading.

“And besides,” Joel’s saying, his voice having taken on that almost slurred rambling quality. “Cake frosting’s hardly commonplace in anyone’s fridge. You’d be more likely to come across whipped cream or-”

“Actually, if I’m being given a choice, I’d go with nothing.” Ray interrupts lightly.

They’ve come to the edge of the forest, the pathway giving way to clipped grass, and the group spreads out in the space as the sun hits them full force. Ray turns his body almost completely to the side to make sure Joel’s undivided attention is on him, and is pleased that he hasn’t dropped his sunglasses over his eyes yet as it gives him a direct view of the small amount of confusion in his expression.

“I’d go with nothing, because nothing beats the…  _natural_  flavour.” Ray raises his eyebrows as he stresses the word, and it’s so worth it, because Joel’s reaction is priceless.

He stops walking completely, swaying on his feet, and his face is red again – it’s spread out to his ears this time – his eyes fixed on Ray. His grip on his towel is loose and it almost falls from his fingers as his shoulders drop, the tension shocked out of him. Joel’s mouth opens, just a bit, and Ray hears his breathing stop.

Ray lets his smile spread slowly over his face, almost wishes he has his phone out to record this – but at the same time loves the fact Joel’s reaction is only for him,  _because_  of him – and keeps walking, keeping his eyes on Joel. He doesn’t turn to face forward until he’s several feet away, and then he makes sure to give him one lasting look.

He’s one hundred percent sure that Joel’s staring at his ass as he walks away.

 

///

\\\\\

 

As the second night crept on, and the Roosterteeth group gathered around for after dinner drinks, music blasting from the portable radio, Ray disappeared.

It wasn’t any of Joel’s business, wasn’t his place to worry, to make up a thousand scenarios involving wild animals and creepy killers hiding in the woods, but the mind is a powerful thing, and he’s become more fine-tuned to Ray than anyone else here. So, knowing he’s being stupid but unable to stop himself, he frets.

To take his mind away from it he runs back over the day, just hanging out next to each other with the group, talking quietly, their banter during lunch and the glances at the lake, the cheerful conversation at breakfast… and Burnie’s words after, whispered into his ear that let him know that he was being way too obvious.

_“If you’re gonna bang him, don’t wreck his mouth, his commentary is half his pay check.”_

The whole day had felt like a test of his self-control. Joel has an unfortunate talent for remembering everything no matter how drunk he gets, so every second of the night before is imprinted in his memory. And with hindsight, he can see that he might have been a  _little_  bit overbearing, and definitely overstepped his boundaries with Ray and that stupid kiss. He’d been worried that he’d given Ray the wrong idea with that move, that it had been too protective and big brotherly, but instead it seemed like Ray was paying more attention to him than normal. Flirting, if he wasn’t mistaken. And that made him worry that he’d been too obvious and given Ray exactly the  _right_  idea, but in the wrong way.

It all made his head hurt.

And then his thoughts bring him inevitably to that morning, when his head had been pounding with every small noise, and his muscles ached from being splayed out in an awkward sleeping position, and there had been a soft hand on his shoulder, in his hair, voice quiet and calming. Ray had shaken him awake, smiled down at him, and left him with a mug of coffee and instructions to have a shower before coming to breakfast. And his mind had broken, rushed into a world where this was their house, this was something that happened every morning, that he could wrap his arms around Ray’s waist as they sat eating breakfast on the couch together-

-before he remembered where he was.

But now, as he relived that brief moment, that illusion, and how desperately he wanted - _needed_  it to be real - Joel couldn’t help the way he felt put on edge without Ray in his line of sight.

Back to worrying.

Ray had been around earlier, when all the food had first come out, but somehow he’d dropped out of sight as the night wore on. Joel couldn’t remember exactly where he’d last seen him, and he’s too distracted to think about drinking. People are packing up, getting ready to leave the next day, stuffing what they don’t need in their cars so it’s easier in the morning, and half of the group aren’t drinking as heavily as they normally would since driving hung over is never fun.

It does give Joel a small idea to where Ray might be, and he wonders why he hadn’t thought of it sooner.  _Because it’s really none of your business_ , his mind whispers, but Joel stands anyway, and wanders towards his car.

He can’t quite hide the way the relief hits him hard in the chest when he recognises the figure stuffing bags into the backseat.

“Hey, Joel.” Ray looks up with a grin. He’s got good hearing; Joel hadn’t come too close, but Ray must have picked up on his footsteps anyway.

Joel just nods, not trusting his voice - all he wants to do is tell Ray that he missed him, but it's stupid because it's only been hours since he last saw him - and walks closer. Ray finishes loading the car and shuts the door. The car beeps and the locking lights flash and he holds up the keys with a smile.

“Didn’t think you’d mind.” He says, twirls them on his finger. “You want to leave early tomorrow morning, right?”

Joel nods again at the guess, and falls into step beside Ray automatically as they walk back across the campsite. The party’s more subdued this time, the radio just audible and figures hanging around the barbeque and fire, sitting together and talking.

He doesn’t think to question the fact that they’re walking towards the cabin, that there’s no reason to go there, when Ray could simply  _give_  Joel his keys.

Doesn’t realise it until they reach the door to Joel’s room and Ray pushes it open, flicks on the light, walks inside, his pace suddenly slow as he goes to Joel’s bag and replaces the keys. Ray straightens up, and casually as anything, goes to sit down on one of the beds. Joel’s bed, specifically, legs stretched out and arms behind his head as he leans against the headboard.

He raises his eyebrows at Joel, who’s frozen in the doorway, trying to analyse the situation. He’s usually fine at reading body language – it’s partly his job – but now he’s gone into shutdown. He’s not sure. He doesn’t want to read this wrong.

“Ray,” Joel starts, but that’s all he has, whatever he intended to say gone the second he opens his mouth.

Ray’s got that look on his face, the one where he’s silently appraising, not smiling, but eyes wide and sharp. “Are you okay?”

Joel lets out a barking sort of laugh. Is he okay? Not really, he’s completely lost here. But Ray’s looking at him expectantly, and he needs to do something, so he takes a guess and very slowly, takes another step into the room, and pushes the door. It swings into place, clicks shut, too loud and too sharp for his already on-edge nerves.

It seems to be the right decision, though, because Ray grins at him, wide and inviting, and it sends a shiver down his spine. He lets his eyes drift over Ray again, taking in the image, trying to memorise it.

“Ya gonna stand there all night?” Ray teases. “You look like you’re gonna eat me.”

His cheeks flush a moment after his words, and Joel laughs again, because Ray didn’t mean for that to be a double entendre, but it’s enough to diffuse the tension and give Joel a clear view of what’s happening here. A green light, of sorts.

He’s not going to pass this chance up.

In the space of a few seconds, Joel crosses the small distance over to the bed – doesn’t hesitate, doesn’t give himself that time to rethink – and puts a hand at the back of Ray’s neck, to pull him in just slightly, before brushing his lips with his own.

Ray’s eyes close almost instantly - and damn the kid’s a good kisser, matching Joel’s pace and pressure exactly, slow and almost chaste – but Joel keeps his eyes on Ray’s face, half-lidded and watching the way he seems  _so_  into it, not a hint of hesitation, as calm as anything.

When he tightens his grip on Ray’s neck, shifts his knees onto the mattress, and deepens the angle and sweeps his tongue along Ray’s bottom lip however, Joel catches the way his eyelids flicker and his breath hitches, and it’s enough for Joel to close his own eyes and give himself over to the sensation, let go of his thoughts.

Ray’s hands grip at his shoulders, and he moves so he’s lying down on the bed, forcing Joel to follow, knees and elbow holding him only a few inches above Ray. His hands dart under Joel’s shirt and around his back, fingers pressing around his shoulder blades and along his spine, never still as they kiss, and Joel wonders if it’s a gamer thing, trying every combination to find the magic button, the cheat code to get a high score, before Ray’s fingers find a spot on his sides, along his ribs and he has to groan. He’s not ticklish on his sides, far from it, and Ray figures this out, seems to double his efforts, focusing on fingering along Joel’s ribcage, around to his front, over his chest, and grins into the kiss when Joel groans again.

He’s not usually that competitive, but he’s not about to be shown up, be led around, and now he wants to know what it’ll take to make Ray’s calm demeanour vanish, wonders what he sounds like. So Joel ducks down, latches onto the side of Ray’s throat, right under his ear, grazes his tongue and teeth across the skin, and for good measure takes that moment to also nudge one leg between Ray’s and roll his hips in a practiced movement.

And Ray lets out a choked, breathy whine right in Joel’s ear, his fingers digging into Joel’s sides and his hips jerking upwards.

Joel grins into Ray’s skin, continues to press open-mouthed kisses to his neck, making his way down to the join of his shoulder and neck before he bites and sucks.

He brings his hands down Ray’s sides – is momentarily distracted by the fact that he can almost wrap his fingers completely around his waist – and slides them down further, under to grip at Ray’s ass and lift while rolling his hips down at the same time. He’s rewarded with a breathy moan, and what he thinks is his name, though it’s too quiet and airy to tell.

He can feel Ray pressed against him, hot and hard against his hip, and becomes aware that his shirt has been pushed almost completely up as Ray’s hands explore his torso. Soft fingers trace his ribs again, and this time it’s the light touch that does it, has Joel gasping into Ray’s neck and bucking their hips together, lifting him off the bed to get the angle, and revelling in Ray’s panting, punctuated by moans and the occasional whine-

And then Joel drops him, propels backwards on the bed, eyes wide and he’s stopped breathing because his mind has caught up with him and is screaming  _what are you doing?_

Ray just lies there, splayed out and clothes rucked up, face red, hair dishevelled, lips swollen and neck shining from Joel’s saliva. He looks like a porn star, especially with the way he looks at Joel, mouth open to suck in air and expression only mildly confused, eyes bright. He doesn’t look hurt, or angry, he’s not even questioning why Joel broke away, why he stopped.

Joel runs a hand through his hair, nails scraping at his scalp, and drops his gaze. “Ray-” he starts, apologetically and already wincing as he tries to get his words together.

The bed shifts as Ray sits up, fixing his glasses and tugging at his shorts, shrugging. “That’s okay.” Joel can hardly believe how nonchalantly he’s acting, can’t even tell if it’s an act or not.

“I’m-” Joel tries again, but Ray holds up a hand, stands, and he’s smiling, somehow, even though Joel’s messed this up, Ray’s  _smiling_.

“It’s okay, man.” He says easily, shoves his hands in his pockets. “I’m gonna hit the hay. Make sure you wake me up on time tomorrow.”

He crosses to the door, but before he opens it he seems to remember something, and ducks back. Before Joel can protest, or shy away, Ray’s got his jaw in hand and is kissing him again, sweet and open, tongue darting in to sweep Joel’s mouth briefly.

Then he lets go, shoots him another grin, and leaves the room, closing the door behind him.

Joel stays sitting in place, torn. One half of his mind is berating him, cursing him for stopping, and the other is still wondering at what happened, and more than anything, how Ray could still be so fine with everything. He feels like he screwed up royally, but Ray’s complete under reaction, assurance that it’s not a big deal is just making his head spin. Joel doesn’t know why he stopped, but Ray hadn’t been upset because of it, he had recognised that Joel needed the space, had diverted him from turning the situation into an over dramatic disaster, and left without any worry, without a care in the world.

Left with a kiss on Joel’s lips. Not bittersweet, but honestly friendly, a kiss that told him it would all be okay, that it was nothing to worry about.

That not everything had to be a tragedy.

 

\\\\\

///

 

Somehow, Ray woke up before his phone alarm.

One second he was fast asleep, and the next his eyes were open, and the sun wasn’t even peeking in through the window. He pulled his phone out from under his pillow and located his glasses, checked the time. Almost exactly seven o’clock.

He sat up and stretched, smiling a little as he ran his hand over his neck – there weren’t any marks, he’d checked last night, but he could still pinpoint each spot where Joel’s mouth had been. Speaking of.

Ray stood, making a quick and silent round of the cabin room, making sure he hadn’t left anything, and zipped up his backpack. He paused once at the whiskey bottle beside Michael’s bed, glanced at Gavin, and back at Michael’s sleeping form with a small smirk, making a mental note to ask him about it later. He slipped on his shoes and shouldered his backpack before ducking out of the room.

He tiptoed down to Joel’s door, knocking silently, and cracked it open. The room was empty, and he frowned before shrugging. Maybe Joel was gonna wake him up just before they left, decided to let Ray sleep as much as possible seeing how he knew Ray wasn’t a morning person. Well, today excluded, it seemed.

The grass was dewy as he made his way across the camp, ignoring the cement pathways in exchange for the shorter direct route towards the car park and refectory. The large door was slightly ajar, which gave Ray a hint, and he quickly dropped his backpack off beside Joel’s car before making his way back to the building, pushing the door open a bit more to slip inside.

Joel was standing beside the kitchenette, back to the door, hands on the bench and head hung low while the coffee machine whirred beside him. There were two mugs on the bench, and Ray smiled at the gesture, walking over.

“We all set to go?” Joel jumped at his words, and glanced over his shoulder, almost looking guilty.

“Yeah. I was just going to come get you.” He replied, gesturing at the mugs.

Ray chuckled. “Thanks, but for once in my life, I’m not in the mood for morning coffee.” He leant against the bench. “I dunno, maybe there’s something different about this place, but I’m actually wide awake.”

Joel nodded, eyes roving over Ray the way he had been doing more and more often, probably unconsciously. When he met Ray’s eyes, he flicked his gaze away, focusing on pouring his own cup of coffee, forgoing adding anything to it and choosing to just swig the bitter drink down in one. He grimaced, and Ray let out a small laugh, causing Joel’s gaze to fix on him again.

“You’re acting like you’re hung over, but I know you didn’t drink much last night.” He shook his head, and began walking towards the door, Joel following him. “Unless you’re hung over from my awesome making out skills.”

Joel made a weird choking noise, and Ray looked at him, stopping in his tracks. He looked slightly pained, eyebrows pulled up in the centre and eyes fixed on his shoes. Ray reached out a hand and made as if to touch Joel’s arm, but Joel’s gaze shot up and stopped him. His jaw was clenched, and his expression had turned determined.

“Last night-” he began, and this time when he hesitated, Ray didn’t interrupt him, because it’s been enough time that surely Joel can get his head around whatever he’s been trying to say since yesterday by now. “Last night, Ray, I didn’t mean to do anything you weren’t comfortable with-”

Ray bit his lip, the urge to laugh rising. He wanted to say that he was more than comfortable last night, couldn’t he tell? But Joel was still talking, and he settled for listening patiently.

“-And I know it’s sometimes easy to get carried away, especially when you’re somewhere different, and it feels like anything can go. So I understand where you were coming from, but I didn’t want to force you into-”

“Joel.” Okay, enough’s enough. Joel looked like he was going to work himself into a rant, and Ray’s not in the mood for that, especially as it seems Joel’s been spending all night second-guessing himself. “If you start lecturing me like I’m some virgin kid at camp, I’ll make it my personal mission to stop you from getting laid ever again.”

Joel still looked pained, unsure, and Ray sighed, leaning back against one of the long tables.

“Look, Joel, I don’t have a problem with last night, with any of it, so unless you weren’t actually enjoying yourself – which I doubt, by the way – there shouldn’t be a problem, right?” he raised his eyebrows, and Joel nodded, the crease in his forehead vanishing. “Great. So now that we’ve got that out of the way, can I tell you something?”

Nod, small smile on his face, and he’s looking less stressed now, so Ray smirks, cocking his hips to the side and leaning heavily against the table. Joel’s eyes flick over him, over his stance, and Ray’s already laughing on the inside, smirk widening.

“Before you pulled away, when your hands were on my ass, you did this thing with your tongue and I was wondering where you learnt that because I was seriously  _this_  close to-”

He’s cut off mid-word by Joel’s lips crushing his, and he settles for laughing into Joel’s mouth instead, hands on his shoulders, because that was exactly the reaction he was hoping for.

Joel growls in his throat and nips at Ray’s lip, effectively silencing his laughter, and oh yeah,  _that’s_  the tongue thing he was talking about, and Joel’s hands have found his ass again – man must have a fetish – and in a second he’s lifted off his feet and onto the table. Ray’s stomach swoops, and he’s a little surprised, which just lets Joel delve deeper into his mouth with his tongue, thumbs pressing into his hipbones. He steps closer, draws Ray to him, and Ray hooks his legs behind Joel’s, eagerly returning the kiss. Joel kisses down his jaw, and Ray’s eyes open slightly, breath hitching-

And catches sight of Michael standing in the doorway over Joel’s shoulder.

Ray digs his fingers into Joel’s shoulders, pushing him away and trying to ignore the wet sound as Joel’s mouth detaches from his skin. “Oh. Shit.”

He doesn’t know whether to laugh at Michael’s expression, or Joel’s.

 

///

\\\\\

 

“Ray! Get back in the car!” Joel almost yelled, one hand flailing in the direction of the passenger’s seat, trying to grab a hold of Ray’s shirt and pull him back into his seat while keeping the car straight on the dirt road. Easier said than done when a glance to the side gave him a more than perfect view of Ray’s ass as he leaned bodily out the window. He had to fight to keep his face from going red as his mind spun and he desperately looked back at the road, both hands gripping the wheel.

Maybe he should pull over.

But Ray was laughing, sliding into his seat with one last wave out the window, and Joel let out a breath of relief. His heart was thumping with more than just panic at Ray’s recklessness.

“You know, for someone who’s got a thing about a car going too fast, you’re awfully blasé about hanging out of a moving one.” Joel said, unable to stop himself, and caught Ray rolling his eyes out of the corner of his vision.

“Chill out, you sound like my old man.”

It was harmless, but Joel was already on edge, and for a brief second he panicked. His thoughts ran back to the scenario barely ten minutes ago, and his fingers clenched reflexively on the steering wheel as the inevitable worry crossed his mind.  _Too old, half my age, what am I doing?_   _This is wrong-_

“Joel?” Ray’s voice broke into his mind, the concern dousing his inner dialogue. “Sorry, that was a bit- I didn’t mean anything by it.”

He let out a low laugh, short. “Nah, it’s fine.” And it is, actually. He’s gotten used to reigning in his self-doubt, and he’s already decided that as it seems Ray doesn’t care about the age difference, he shouldn’t either. “I shouldn’t let it get to me. After all,” Joel turned his head, wiggling his eyebrows. “Age equals experience.”

Ray laughs, full-out laughs at that, and Joel grins triumphantly. The younger man’s laugh is something amazing, the way it seems like he can’t remember to breathe smoothly, loud and airy.

“Don’t-” Ray starts in again once he’s got his breath back. “Don’t get too cocky. I broke the fucking bed on my first time, and I’ve only had time to improve since then. I’d give you a run for your money.”

Joel smiled wide to hide the fact that Ray’s words sent a shiver down his spine, carefully keeping his eyes on the road as it becomes bitumen once more. He was trying to keep the banter light, but he should have known better what it would turn to, and it was a bit much to expect him to keep his imagination out of the gutter when Ray spoke like that.

“Oh really? Is that an invitation, Ray?” He didn’t mean to flirt, but it came naturally, hoping that if he kept talking his mind wouldn’t have time to get away from him.

“Why, Mr Heyman, I’m not that kinda girl.” Ray laughs. Then he adopts a lower tone, sudden seriousness behind the teasing words, and Joel knows him enough to know that this isn’t just banter. It’s got the same level of truth behind it that gave him the courage last night.

“You’re gonna have to buy me dinner first, I don’t put out till the third date. And I’ll expect roses and you in a suit.”

Joel turned his head so fast he was sure he gave himself a crick in his neck, and had to quickly remind himself to look back at the road, to not drive them into oncoming traffic.

_Holy shit._

He hadn’t realised it, but he’d been telling himself that everything that had happened over the weekend was a once off. Convinced himself that it was temporary, that whatever the reason was that had Ray deciding to humor Joel’s blatant crush would dissolve as soon as they were back in Austin. Hadn’t dared to hope that this would continue, would last. Or if it did, only as something akin to ‘friends with benefits’. Joel would have been okay with that, even if he would always find himself wanting more, he would have taken it over nothing at all.

Yet Ray was suggesting,  _telling_  him that it wasn’t something to be forgotten. More than just a one-time thing, more than a  _date_  thing, something with roses and suits and- oh.

“So,” he licked his lips, suddenly dry. He still can’t take the hint, has to know for sure, needs it in plain words. “So this -  _we_  - could be like a regular thing?”

When he glances to the side Ray looks like he’s trying not to laugh, but the smile is so genuine and… fond.

“Yeah, Joel.” He murmured. “Like a regular thing.”

Joel felt his lips stretch into a grin, paralleled by Ray, and his heart swoops.

He could live with that.

 

///

 


End file.
